I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
