did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
