why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
