yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
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