i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
