Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
