Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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