I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
