never play flip cup with pint glasses
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i think my cat just said my name.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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