does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
