so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
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better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
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Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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