i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize