Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We had to coat check the pizza.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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