i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
