For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Your penis caused this!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
