btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize