3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
