why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I need water and some morals
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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