I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
