So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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