I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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