What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
