you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
