PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
