if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
