She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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