I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
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I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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