their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
