Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think my fart just growled at me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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