My first STD was from a foam party
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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