There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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