I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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