I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
