Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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