Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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