why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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