Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
barbara walters just said penis...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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