This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize