grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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