Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
