If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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