my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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