So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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