..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
