Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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