I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
