But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize