She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
