my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think your dad took our porno
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
