dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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