HIV tests are more positive than that guy
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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