I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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