Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
