soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
