He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
