I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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