I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
