ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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