im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
