fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize