Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
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