you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
