I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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