I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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