is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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